How to Integrate a New Baby Into Your Family?

By Charlotte Malone

February 12, 2020




1. Let your children express their feelings 

When you decide to tell your children about your pregnancy is a personal decision, and one that you will have to make based on their age and ability to understand the concept. In our situation, we wanted our son to be able to express any feelings that he may have – good or bad. He had been our sole focus for years, so we knew it would be an adjustment. For us, having the conversation and allowing your child to express their feelings, fears, and excitement can help you understand how to help them adapt to a new baby in the home.. Throughout your pregnancy, consider having conversations that continually let them open up so you can address problems head on.

 2. Make them a part of the process 

Allow your child to learn more about their new sibling to help build excitement for the arrival. If you can, bring your child to an ultrasound appointment or consider taking a video or pictures to share so that they feel included.We also downloaded a baby tracker app that gave updates on the size and weight of the baby. Our son was particularly intrigued when we compared his new sibling to a piece of fruit; this week baby is a blueberry, next week a strawberry. It added humor, but gave him a sense of their impending arrival.You can also plan your baby shower and include them in the day. Ask for their help decorating or assign a special task like decorating onesies or helping you open presents. 


3. Have a plan for the hospital 


We had a planned c-section date, but had to deliver early. We quickly had to figure out who would pick up and care for our son when my husband was in the hospital with me. Looking back, I wish we had a plan in place so that we didn’t have stress leading up to the arrival of the new baby.A few things to consider as you develop your plan:• Who will pick up and drop off your child if they are at school or a sitter?• Who will your child stay with if both parents are in the hospital overnight?• Do you want your child to visit you in the hospital? If so, who will drive them to see you? Is it flu season? Will they be allowed to visit? 


 4. Plan a gift exchang


Before the new baby came, we bought my son a “Best Big Brother” t-shirt. When he arrived at the hospital, we had it wrapped with a card from his new sister. We knew that the next few months would be filled with gifts for his sister, so we felt it was important for him to receive something too. He still wears it proudly, smiling brightly when asked about his sister.My husband also took him to the hospital gift shop and he picked out balloons for the new baby.Unprompted, a few months after we brought our daughter home, my son went into his room and pulled out a favorite stuffed animal and gave it to my daughter. He wanted her to have it when she needed comfort, he told us.


 5. Make 1-on-1 time 


One thing we try to do is put time aside to spend with us. It’s expensive and difficult to get babysitters on weekends, so we take turns having alone time with him. Before we had a baby every weekend was time for just the three of us, so even if we can’t always be alone with her, we try to recreate that as much as possible. After your twins are on a more regular sleeping schedule, you can carve out family evenings for your stepchildren. We like to watch family movies or play card games. 


Yes, life has changed, but I can gladly report that my son and daughter are fast friends.




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